From the very beginning I have told you that my thoughts are often random. This particular time will be particularly disjointed. So, please be patient with me.
I’ve been overwhelmed at work for about three weeks. No time to blog anything. No time to stop and smell the roses. I told my husband, “I don’t want to stop the train and get off. I just want to stop the train long enough to smell the roses then get back on.” Mostly I have worked, prayed, and stress eaten lots of peanuts. Trying to stress eat low carb doesn’t leave many choices that you can grab with one hand and while you type with the other. And when I haven’t been concentrating on deadlines, timelines, and regulations, my mind has run amuck with random deep thoughts or just plain ramblings. I’m not really sure which. Mostly I thought about what is important to me. And that may be drastically different than what is really important.
One of those random thoughts was how I would like to be remembered by my family, friends and co-workers. ( I must have been thinking that the stress level would be the death of me. :-) )
Obviously different priorities are associated with each of those. I would like for my family to remember that I loved them with all my heart, that I worked hard to do things for them and provide for them, and that I had time for them. I fear that the times I was working hard to provide for them, they will remember that I didn’t have time for them. When I take the time to be with them when things need to be done, I fear that they will remember me as being lazy and unproductive. The times I showed my love for them by correcting or instructing, I fear that they will remember that as harshness.
I want my friends to remember me as compassionate and available to listen. But as an introvert, even though I love being with my friends, but I also need to be by myself to regroup. I fear that they will see that as avoiding them.
For my co-workers, I want them to remember me as knowledgeable, committed, accurate and efficient, caring, and professional. But as I strive for the balance between accuracy and efficiency, I fear I accomplish neither and my co-workers see me as incompetent. There is so much to learn that I will never be knowledgeable enough. Then, the whole caring and professional balance is like walking a tightrope.
Then it gets even more complicated when the perceptions I want family, friends and co-workers to have of me works in opposition. How do I have time for my family when I am working 16 hours a day 7 days a week to try to obtain both efficiency and accuracy in my work. How can I go to every one of my son’s baseball games so that he realizes how important he to me, and still complete nearly 50 conferences with the accompanying paperwork. How can I...How can I...How can I…?
Life is fleeting.
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1 Peter 1:23-25 New International Version (NIV)
23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.
24 For, “All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall.
25 but the word of the Lord endures forever.”
And this is the word that was preached to you.
Psalm 78:39 New International Version (NIV) 39 He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.
So what should be our priorities?
Proverbs 4:23 New International Version (NIV) 23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
So, the truth is, as much as I desire that others will perceive and even remember me as having the characteristics that I want to have, all that really matters is if my heart is right with God. Nothing else has eternal significance. The relationship I have with God is what will ultimately matter to my family, my friends, and co-workers. This is true even when they do not have a relationship with Him. If my heart is right, He can influence them, touch them, draw them to Himself. If my heart is not right, if I cherish sin in my heart, then the opposite can be true. (And I thought the pressure to hold conferences and do paperwork was overwhelming!) How terribly overwhelming is the thought that my lack of commitment to God can negatively impact someone else’s relationship with God.
So how does a heart right with God look in a family.
1 Timothy 5:4 New International Version (NIV) 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
We are supposed to take care of our families.
What about friendships? How do we love our friends? How do we show that love?
1 John 4:7-8 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) 7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
We are to love each other with the love of God. True friendship and love cannot exist without God loving through us. If we are not abiding in Christ, our love for family and friends is an imitation but not the genuine thing.
So, what is the purpose of our friendships?
2 Corinthians 12:19 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) 19 You have thought all along that we were defending ourselves to you. No, in the sight of God we are speaking in Christ, and everything, dear friends, is for building you up.
Our friendships are to build others up in Christ. We are to encourage, and help each other keep our focus on our relationships with God.
And what about professionally? What does God expect of us in our work relationships.
Ephesians 6:6-8 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) 6 Don’t work only while being watched, in order to please men, but as slaves of Christ, do God’s will from your heart.[a] 7 Serve with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good each one does, slave or free, he will receive this back from the Lord.
If God wants us to function in all these situations, and He does, then He will give us the strength to do His will. We can not do it by ourselves. We will wear ourselves out. We will not do any of these things well. The only answer is to let Christ reign as Lord in our lives. We can do all things only when He empowers us.
Philippians 4:13 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB) 13 I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.
I’m still not finished with the paperwork and conferences. We still have baseball games 3 and 4 nights per week. I still need to prepare Sunday School lessons. My husband still has health issues. My adult children and grandchildren still have victories and hurts to share. I still have students who need therapy that gets pushed aside because the paperwork has to be done. But, when I realize what is really important, and Who can balance it all in perfect balance, I can let go of the stress and rest in the security and assurance that Jesus is Lord.
