Bitterness

Bitterness

Why is there so much bitterness? Not judging anyone: I’ve had my own struggles. When we look at our circumstances instead of trusting God’s faithfulness, we can find ourselves pulled into self pity, anger and ultimately bitterness. But, when we step back and think rationally, we have to understand that bitterness serves absolutely no purpose. On top of that, the origin of our bitterness is often something so inconsequential that we don’t even remember why we are bitter. Or if we do happen to remember, the person for whom we harbor bitterness doesn’t remember what they did to hurt us, and likely did not intend to do anything hurtful at all.

What causes a grown man to still talk about someone making fun of him 50 years ago? When the supposed villain is questioned, he doesn’t even know who the person is, much less remember ever making fun of him.

What causes a grown man to disrupt family gatherings for some supposed slight by a cousin when they were children?

What causes a woman to harbor hatred and bitterness for a man who has been dead for 40 years?

Why does bitterness so adversely affect churches that people can not worship together?

I don’t know. It’s that simple. It doesn’t make sense. So, what does scripture say?

Ephesians 4:30-32 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption. 31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

First, we are grieving God. We make God sad. His heart is broken when we hold onto bitterness. His Spirit seals our redemption. He dwells in us and protects us. But we purposely open our lives to a bitterness that is in direct disobedience to His instructions to us and His plans for us. Yes, in case you are wondering at that previous sentence. I meant it. Purposely. Bitterness is something we choose to hold close to us. We choose to dwell on whatever thought that feeds that bitterness instead of choosing to focus on God and Who He is.

31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.

Looking at individual words in this verse are eye opening. ALL-not just some. Don’t hold on to even a little sliver of any of the list that follows. BITTERNESS, anger, wrath lead to SHOUTING and SLANDER which MUST be REMOVED. It seems to me that God is really serious about this. Strong words for a sin that destroys our spiritual and emotional lives. (I think there is also the case that bitterness damages our physical health as well, but I won’t pursue that thought at this time.)

32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Bitterness snuffs out the kindness and compassion we are commanded to show each other and the forgiveness that should be given just as freely as the forgiveness we received through God’s unfailing love, grace and mercy. When we allow bitterness to take the place of forgiveness, we show blatant disrespect and ungratefulness for the forgiveness God gives us. Bitterness destroys relationships. Not just with the accused offender but with all those around us. Lack of forgiveness in one situation smolders in our hearts and damages all our relationships.

Hebrews 12:14-16 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. 15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.

More Keywords (and Phrases) 

Pursue-look for it, work toward it, search for it, make sacrifices to obtain it

Peace-spiritual, emotional, relational

Everyone-even those who have wronged us

Holiness-because God loves us and forgives us. He is Holy 

Falls Short-sin 

Grace of God-poured out freely for us.

No Root-none at all. Nothing that begins to grow downward into our hearts our outward toward others

Causing Trouble-for us and for others

Defiling Many-affects everyone around us, as well as us personally

I don’t think any of us are immune to the temptation. I certainly am not. We just need to be aware. We need to make a conscious effort to choose kindness, compassion and forgiveness. We need to be committed to God to allow His Spirit to protect us from bitterness, anger, wrath, shouting, slander and malice. In light of Who God is and what He has done for us, we need to be willing to seek peace with everyone. By showing grace to others, we avoid trouble for ourselves and those around us.

Embarrassed by blessings?

Embarrassed by blessings

James 4:10 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

Several years ago there was a country song with the line “don’t get above your raising”. Our son was a preschooler at the time. He would sing at the top of his lungs “Don’t eat a fuzzy raisin!” So as a family, when we think of people who have been raised poor or middle class, do better than their parents financially then get stuck up and proud about it, we say “They are eating fuzzy raisins.”

I know a couple who God has blessed tremendously. They are not “eating fuzzy raisins.” Their hearts are humble before God, and they give Him the glory for the blessings He has given. Their desire is to use those blessings to minister to others. But they have a spiritual conundrum. In opening their home as a place of gathering and ministry, they face the vulnerability that others will think they are bragging or proud. We were helping them move yesterday, and my son whispered to me “This is a VERY nice house!” like it was a secret. (For those of you who know my sons well, this is funny: Then he asked a question reminiscent of what his older brother would ask. Not telling you what it is. If you know them, you will know.) I think that in the back of his mind, he understood that he would embarrass them by stating the obvious where they could hear him.

This made me start thinking. Why are we embarrassed by the situation in which God has placed us? A few years ago, God used a series of events to change our lifestyle and our situation. The end result is wonderful. I look out my back window every morning and evening with thanksgiving for what God has done. But I also struggle with what others think about the place that I live. It is so different than where we have lived for the last several years.  I’m not complaining. The blessings far outweigh that one little detail. Yet, the devil tries to confuse me.

This is the reality of our culture, both within the church and in society. So much emphasis is put on things: cars, houses, clothes, recreational vehicles, vacation spots, jewelry. But, what does God say about this?

James 1: 9 The brother of humble circumstances should boast in his exaltation, 10 but the one who is rich should boast in his humiliation because he will pass away like a flower of the field.

It is true that many scriptures state that God blessed men with earthly possessions because of their faithfulness. But this is not a promise for all believers. Some of the most faithful believers live in absolute poverty. True followers of Jesus are all promised spiritual blessings on earth and an indescribable heavenly home. But we are also warned of persecutions and trials. Neither wealth nor poverty, sickness nor health, trials nor ease are a reflection of anyone’s spiritual condition.

Deuteronomy 28 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Blessings for Obedience
28 “Now if you faithfully obey the Lord your God and are careful to follow all His commands I am giving you today, the Lord your God will put you far above all the nations of the earth. 2 All these blessings will come and overtake you, because you obey the Lord your God:

3 You will be blessed in the city
and blessed in the country.
4 Your descendants will be blessed,
and your land’s produce,
and the offspring of your livestock,
including the young of your herds
and the newborn of your flocks.
5 Your basket and kneading bowl will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in
and blessed when you go out.

Leviticus 19:15 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

15 “You must not act unjustly when deciding a case. Do not be partial to the poor or give preference to the rich; judge your neighbor fairly.

John 16:32-33 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

32 Look: An hour is coming, and has come, when each of you will be scattered to his own home, and you will leave Me alone. Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. 33 I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.”

James 1:2-3 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

2 Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.

When we look at scripture, we understand that God sees the heart. He knows our inmost thoughts. In His great wisdom, He sends blessings, trials, persecutions, poverty, riches, sickness, health-all at the exact time that works in our lives for our individual good and the furtherance of His kingdom.

As Christians in a materialistic society, we need to look past what the secular world sees and how unbelievers judge others. We need to see as God sees. We must not value others by what we see with our eyes. We can not judge a brother or sister in Christ by what one has or does not have. That is beyond our control. God gives as He sees fit.  We can not be ashamed (embarrassed) or prideful based on our possessions, because all we have or lack is based on God’s wisdom. And, just as importantly, we must not fear the judgment based on earthly values. If God blesses us with earthly possessions, we are be totally committed to Him and trust Him to use those blessings for His glory. If he places us in humble circumstances, we are to continue to serve and minister with a total commitment of our all to Him.

Philippians 4:11-13 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

11 I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. 13 I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Crafting Abilities

When I started writing this blog, I didn’t think it would be as serious as it has turned out to be. I thought that there might be a funny story here and there. The concept of “random thoughts” has seemed to be put aside for some ranting about some of my pet peeves, and for musings about my students. I seem to be obsessed with the idea that everything might have some lesson to be learned or some moral to the story. It’s hard to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses, but I really don’t think I am a serious-all-the-time, boring, dull person, but…maybe I am.

Exodus 35: 30 Moses then said to the Israelites: “Look, the Lord has appointed by name Bezalel son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. 31 He has filled him with God’s Spirit, with wisdom, understanding, and ability in every kind of craft 32 to design artistic works in gold, silver, and bronze, 33 to cut gemstones for mounting, and to carve wood for work in every kind of artistic craft. 34 He has also given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others.35 He has filled them with skill to do all the work of a gem cutter; a designer; an embroiderer in blue, purple, and scarlet yarn and fine linen; and a weaver. They can do every kind of craft and design artistic designs.

What I absolutely do know about myself is that I do not have the gift to be able to do any kind of craft well, much less every kind of craft. But I know some amazing people who do. These people are such a blessing to churches, families, and the community in general. I have been blessed to be emerged in the ocean, climb to the top of mountains, travel through the jungle and the desert, explore Egyptian pyramids, and solve mysteries in London-all through the artistic efforts of people gifted by God and committed to serving Him through that gift. These Vacation Bible School decorations have transformed church buildings into such fun places for the children to learn about God. I have seen church auditoriums transformed into school buses, hill-billy cabins, busy villages, stables, inns, shopping malls to provide the backdrop for musicals and plays that teach and entertain. There have been banquet decorations fit for a royal gala or totally country, totally awesome Women’s ministry decorations made from empty laundry containers, plain bathrooms transformed into magazine pictures, bare brick walls and basketball courts transformed into magnificent wedding venues, plain plastic tables and folding chairs transformed into banquet rooms, fruit jars empty pickle jars, bales of hay, pumpkins,. These amazing people work behind the scenes and all too often don’t recognize how important the things they do are to others and to the ministries of the church.

New Testament scriptures about spiritual gifts do not include craftiness. When we read the Old Testament, we sometimes skip through passages that have genealogies and other “boring details”. In the midst of the details, the specifications, blueprints of the tabernacle and its furnishing, God gives us a glimpse of how He used willing workers to make His earthly tabernacle. He provided very detailed instructions about this portable worship center. It was extremely important that everything be done exactly the way He specified. And He gave these men the wisdom, knowledge and ability to do that. He continues to use willing people to whom He gives crafting and decorating abilities.

Romans 12: 3 For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one. 4 Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, 5 in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.6 According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: If prophecy, use it according to the standard of one’s faith; 7 if service, in service; if teaching, in teaching; 8 if exhorting, in exhortation; giving, with generosity; leading, with diligence; showing mercy, with cheerfulness.

As much as I would like to be able to create these wonderfully eye pleasing spaces, I am not jealous because I understand the concept taught in Romans 12. We can’t all do the same thing. We are all different parts of the body and we are all necessary. So, with a heart of gratitude to God for gifting these people and to the people for being willing vessels, I will enjoy the results. And I will try to remember to tell them how much I appreciate all their time and effort.

Resting in His Glory

* I wrote this without a title in mind. When I needed to put one it, I really couldn't summarize these thoughts into a title, so the one that is here may not be a very good one. :-(

I woke up this morning thinking about one of “my children.” Not the ones I gave birth to and raised to adulthood. The ones I see for speech therapy. This is how it works when you work with children. They are not just part of your job. They are part of your life. Sometimes I wonder if I should think about them less.  Have I taken focus from other things, even from God, to focus on this ministry? (And, yes, even though it isn’t churchy ministry, I believe it is where God put me, so, it is ministry for me.) Then, I read this scripture. At first, I thought I would have liked to have Joshua’s job. (This will make sense when you read the following scripture.) It would be so wonderful to spend all my time with God, free from the troubles in the world. Joshua had a wonderful job. When we know the rest of the story, we can understand that this was preparation for the times when he would have to face opposition and trouble, but for this particular time, he was allowed to spend all his time in the tent of meeting. Moses, on the other hand, had to live with a ridiculous amount of wishy washiness from the people. One minute they were totally committed to God. The next minute they were dancing around a golden calf. (I’m going through life applications for today in my mind. One minute parents are telling teachers how important their child is in their lives. The next minute, the child is telling the teacher that he had to leave the birthday party because his parents were both drunk.) Moses also spent time with God. Without his time with God, he would not have had the wisdom and ability to teach, lead, and nurture the Israelites. The outside ministry was dependent on the time with God. The struggles outside the tent of meeting helped Moses to recognize his need for God. The two were inseparably related. That’s how it is with us today. We have to face the world with all its sin, pain, and rebellion. Very few, if anyone,  today really has Joshua’s job.

Exodus 33: 7 Now Moses took a tent and set it up outside the camp, far away from the camp; he called it the tent of meeting. Anyone who wanted to consult the Lord would go to the tent of meeting that was outside the camp. 8 Whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people would stand up, each one at the door of his tent, and they would watch Moses until he entered the tent. 9 When Moses entered the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and remain at the entrance to the tent, and the Lord would speak with Moses. 10 As all the people saw the pillar of cloud remaining at the entrance to the tent, they would stand up, then bow in worship, each one at the door of his tent.11 The Lord spoke with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his assistant, the young man Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the inside of the tent.

How then can I/we be Moses in our world? Moses asked God that question, paraphrasing: “Lord, I know you love me. I know I have a relationship with you. And I know it was You who gave me this job, but how am I supposed to do it? I don’t have a clue what to do. I really need You to tell me how to do this.” Don’t we feel this way sometimes when we face the “real world?” I know there are times when I am overwhelmed with compassion and sadness for the children, but totally at a loss on how to minister to them because, in my mind, there is no way to make things better for them. (Don’t get me wrong. There are some children who come from wonderful loving homes. They tell pleasant stories about going fishing after church on Sunday. There are good stories as well. But those aren’t the stories that trouble my soul.)

12 Moses said to the Lord, “Look, You have told me, ‘Lead this people up,’ but You have not let me know whom You will send with me. You said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found favor in My sight.’ 13 Now if I have indeed found favor in Your sight, please teach me Your ways, and I will know You and find favor in Your sight. Now consider that this nation is Your people.”

God answered Moses with the answer that we can still believe. He does go with us and will give us rest.

(I’m laughing a little now, because we have this family joke. We say there is a sleeping gene. My daddy had it. I have it. And 2 of my sons have it. We can sleep almost anywhere, and almost instantly. Five minutes after we go to bed, we are in a deep sleep. Three of my children do not have it. One granddaughter has it. Her siblings do not. Now, whether or not there really is a sleeping gene, I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure our ability to sleep is not because we have a different spiritual walk than the others.)

I think the rest God promised Moses had to do with an ability to give our troubles to God and trust Him. There are times when there is nothing we can do to address an issue. Being able to rest in the Lord, trust Him, knowing that He is in control and will work things for the ultimate good of everyone involved is what gives us peace and rest. Letting go. (Granddaughter moment: For some reason that make me think of “Frozen.”)

14 Then He replied, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

15 “If Your presence does not go,” Moses responded to Him, “don’t make us go up from here.16 How will it be known that I and Your people have found favor in Your sight unless You go with us? I and Your people will be distinguished by this from all the other people on the face of the earth.”

17 The Lord answered Moses, “I will do this very thing you have asked, for you have found favor in My sight, and I know you by name.”

Moses was asking God to let the rest of the world, their pagan society, see that God’s people were different. God’s people should look different. I’m not sure we do. I’m not sure I do. But, here is the paradox: When we try to look different, we generally do things that do not reflect the heart of God. It is not something we can do on our own. Trying to stand out in the world puts the attention on us, not on God. The only way to be different than the world is to empty ourselves and let God shine through us and in us. We can’t shine on our own. He is the only one who possesses and is the light that the world needs.

18 Then Moses said, “Please, let me see Your glory.”

Say the words of the preceding verse. Just the thought makes my heart beat a little harder and fills me with anticipation. God, I want to see Your glory. Wow. I so want this. God is willing. But my own sinfulness more often than not blinds me to His glory. If you are honest, you know that is true about you too. That is the human state, even for those of us who have accepted Jesus's gift of salvation and relationship with Him. I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and that God has raised Him from the dead to pay the debt of my sin. I can trust Him now and for eternity. But I still struggle. You still struggle.

So how do I sum up my random thoughts for today? God gives each of us a ministry in a sinful world. As sinful people, we are unable to do anything on our own. Only from being in God’s presence, trusting Him, emptying ourselves, and longing to see His glory can we be who He wants us to be, serve Him how He wants us to serve, and minister to whom and in what ways He has planned for us.