Bitterness

Bitterness

Why is there so much bitterness? Not judging anyone: I’ve had my own struggles. When we look at our circumstances instead of trusting God’s faithfulness, we can find ourselves pulled into self pity, anger and ultimately bitterness. But, when we step back and think rationally, we have to understand that bitterness serves absolutely no purpose. On top of that, the origin of our bitterness is often something so inconsequential that we don’t even remember why we are bitter. Or if we do happen to remember, the person for whom we harbor bitterness doesn’t remember what they did to hurt us, and likely did not intend to do anything hurtful at all.

What causes a grown man to still talk about someone making fun of him 50 years ago? When the supposed villain is questioned, he doesn’t even know who the person is, much less remember ever making fun of him.

What causes a grown man to disrupt family gatherings for some supposed slight by a cousin when they were children?

What causes a woman to harbor hatred and bitterness for a man who has been dead for 40 years?

Why does bitterness so adversely affect churches that people can not worship together?

I don’t know. It’s that simple. It doesn’t make sense. So, what does scripture say?

Ephesians 4:30-32 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption. 31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

First, we are grieving God. We make God sad. His heart is broken when we hold onto bitterness. His Spirit seals our redemption. He dwells in us and protects us. But we purposely open our lives to a bitterness that is in direct disobedience to His instructions to us and His plans for us. Yes, in case you are wondering at that previous sentence. I meant it. Purposely. Bitterness is something we choose to hold close to us. We choose to dwell on whatever thought that feeds that bitterness instead of choosing to focus on God and Who He is.

31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.

Looking at individual words in this verse are eye opening. ALL-not just some. Don’t hold on to even a little sliver of any of the list that follows. BITTERNESS, anger, wrath lead to SHOUTING and SLANDER which MUST be REMOVED. It seems to me that God is really serious about this. Strong words for a sin that destroys our spiritual and emotional lives. (I think there is also the case that bitterness damages our physical health as well, but I won’t pursue that thought at this time.)

32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Bitterness snuffs out the kindness and compassion we are commanded to show each other and the forgiveness that should be given just as freely as the forgiveness we received through God’s unfailing love, grace and mercy. When we allow bitterness to take the place of forgiveness, we show blatant disrespect and ungratefulness for the forgiveness God gives us. Bitterness destroys relationships. Not just with the accused offender but with all those around us. Lack of forgiveness in one situation smolders in our hearts and damages all our relationships.

Hebrews 12:14-16 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. 15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.

More Keywords (and Phrases) 

Pursue-look for it, work toward it, search for it, make sacrifices to obtain it

Peace-spiritual, emotional, relational

Everyone-even those who have wronged us

Holiness-because God loves us and forgives us. He is Holy 

Falls Short-sin 

Grace of God-poured out freely for us.

No Root-none at all. Nothing that begins to grow downward into our hearts our outward toward others

Causing Trouble-for us and for others

Defiling Many-affects everyone around us, as well as us personally

I don’t think any of us are immune to the temptation. I certainly am not. We just need to be aware. We need to make a conscious effort to choose kindness, compassion and forgiveness. We need to be committed to God to allow His Spirit to protect us from bitterness, anger, wrath, shouting, slander and malice. In light of Who God is and what He has done for us, we need to be willing to seek peace with everyone. By showing grace to others, we avoid trouble for ourselves and those around us.