I can't do this!

Like I have mentioned previously, I am taking two post graduate classes this summer term and have been so busy with those that it has been difficult to get anything else done. Last night I read what one of the assignments for this week is. I got this sick feeling in my stomach, and was fighting back the urge to cry, not because the class is academically too difficult, but because this particular assignment is asking me to describe how I will do something, teach something, promote something in the school, with the children, that is unscriptural. I walked around the room all by myself saying "I'm freaking out! I can't do this!" Then I began to pray. "Lord, I'm in this class. I hate this class, but I know you have a purpose. Give me wisdom. Give me the right words to say to show Your love and be true to scripture. I can't do this! Please help me!"

People who work with children have a tremendous opportunity to make a difference. With that opportunity comes tremendous responsibility. Sadly, there are pressures to champion causes that are contrary to scripture. How do we reconcile those outside pressures with our commitment to follow Jesus wholeheartedly.

Matthew 18:14 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
14 In the same way, it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones perish.

Matthew 18:6 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
6 “But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea!

(Fast forward to 3 days later. I have finished the assignment and submitted it. That is done. I may or may not make a decent grade, but what I typed was consistent with scripture and I pray that God uses it to touch someone's heart. I know that it caused me to do some soul-searching.)

One of the questions asked how I would make sure that all students were treated equitably. For you who are not in education, there has been a lot of discussion in recent years about the difference between what is fair, what is equal, what is equitable. A key phrase is "level the playing field." It can get pretty confusing. I will try to paraphrase my understanding of the concept. Fair isn't really fair because people come from different perspectives, different lifestyles, different ability levels, different backgrounds...We need to make adjustments so that these differences do not affect their ability to succeed academically, socially, and emotionally. (That may not be right, but that's how I understand it.) So, anyway, to answer the question in the assignment about treating all students with equity, I looked up scriptures that addressed that very point.

James 3:13-18 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
13 Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works by good conduct with wisdom’s gentleness. 14 But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. 15 Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.

No favoritism. No hypocrisy. Gentle. Peace-loving. Full of mercy. If I love as Christ loved me, unconditionally and sacrificially, and live out His love in my daily life without hypocrisy or favoritism, I can treat all students in the way that He would treat them.

Like I said, I submitted the assignment with this scripture and others that I believed guided me in addressing the question I was to answer. Then...this morning when I clicked on the online Bible reading plan I started a few days ago, this was the scripture that was my reading for today! I was taken aback. OBVIOUSLY God has something to teach me from these verses! I have other assignments to work on today, but I will keep that scripture on a tab on my computer to look back at throughout the day to contemplate and meditate on what I need to be learning.

In the first paragraph, I mentioned that I do not like this class. I may need to re-think that. If God is speaking to me so clearly through the struggles I am having in dealing with this class on a spiritual and emotional level, maybe the words I prayed have special significance. God has a purpose for me to be in this class. Certainly, it has caused me to turn to Him for wisdom and He has spoken to me through His Word. Maybe, just maybe, He will also use the scriptures I used to help someone else.